that other guy’s thoughts

CERN Rap from Will Barras on Vimeo.

She’s a wonderful person and mother. She’s very genuine and charming. She refreshingly walks the Christian walk, rather than merely telling everyone ele how to live their lives. She seems to have good leadership instincts. She is definitely a “real” person as opposed to a ambitious power-hungry career politician.

She also has absolutely no business being the Vice-President of the United States.

…at least not right now. Because when the top of the ticket is a 72-year-old 4-time cancer survivor, the first and near singular task of the vice-president is to be prepared to take over the Presidency should he/she be called on.

Nothing about Sarah Palin remotely suggests she’s ready for that weighty responsibility. She has held two elected offices in her life, and screwed up both of them. She wasted $1.3 million of a small town’s money and abused her governing power enough to incur 2 separate bi-partisan ethics investigations.

I don’t want to the hear “executive experience” argument either. It’s hogwash. Being a small-town mayor isn’t hard. I know, I lived in a small town for 16 years, and our revolving-door mayors always sucked. Miraculously, the town didn’t burn down or go bankrupt. Something that can’t quite be said for the town of Wasilla.

Being a governor is typically nothing to sneeze at. However, being a socially-conservative Republican governor of Alaska is probably the easiest gig in the country. The legislator is overwhelmingly Republican, so no bipartisan compromises are necessary. The state gets way more federal money per-capita than any other state, PLUS it earns enough in oil royalties to hand out $3,200 to each of the 670,000 citizens each year. The state government has essentially no budget problems because it can pump money straight from the ground.

She would be a single lack of a heart-beat away from being the leader of the free world. Yet bizarrely, your humble 25-year-old author, from the middle of nowhere, has more international experience. You probably do too. Let’s have a quick mental exercise: Have you been to more than 3 countries? Yes? Well then, you’re more worldly than Sarah Palin. How sad is that?

No, I’m not kidding. Canada, Mexico, and a brief trip Kuwait last year. That’s it.

Of course all that could be a bunch of pretty circumstantial snippets stated to make her look bad, which is partially why I’m very reluctant to dismiss someone for mere lack of “experience.” The truth is that “experience” is useful to the electorate only insofar as it helps us judge the abilities of our candidates. This isn’t a resume contest, we’re choosing real people for these offices. Real people aren’t wholly encapsulated and defined by a list of the previous jobs.

Skills come from many different places, not simply elected positions. I have no doubt being a working mother of five has made Sarah Palin and superb household administrator and role-model. Unfortunately, she’s not running to be time-manager-in-chief. This is the big leagues and the future of civilization hangs in the balance. This is a serious time and a serious job, and it requires serious people to govern effectively.

Much can, has, will, and should be said about Barack Obama’s thin resume. However, there is no doubt now that he is a serious man. He’s spent the fatter half of 2 years talking, campaigning, proposing, and debating the issues that this country faces. It could even reasonably be said that he has spent his entire post-collegent life studying or serving big ideas.

There is absolutely no evidence that Sarah Palin has had a serious thought about issues of national or international scale in her entire life. For evidence I submit her first (and only) interview concerning foreign policy. God told George W. Bush to invade Iraq as revenge for 9/11. What’s the Bush Doctorine? Georgia should join NATO so we can declare war on Russia!

The thought of putting someone like that next in line for the presidency scares the hell out of me.

She even had the gall to suggest that she knows foreign policy because, “You can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska.”

That’s so stupid I’m speechless. Except to say this: I can see the moon from my bedroom window, but that doesn’t make me a rocket scientist.

Of course, none of this is to say that she wouldn’t be a good president. I have no idea, and neither do you, and neither does anybody else. We don’t know because she hasn’t given one single pre-screened interview and zero press conferences. She has been a nominee for national office for three full weeks and hasn’t said anything that wasn’t written by somebody else or put on a teleprompter.

I’ll say it again: She could still be a good vice-president. But no one without a personal relationship with her can credibly make that judgment yet, including John McCain. That doesn’t sit well with me at all.

We need to know more, a LOT more.

I’ve waited more than 2 weeks, done my research, and prudently reserved judgment until I could clearly form an opinion. Now the time has come for me to share my careful insight of Sarah Palin…

…but you’re going to have to wait until tomorrow because I’m too lazy to proofread what I wrote tonight. No worries though, I wouldn’t just leave you hanging like that. I’ll give you my gist, wrapped up in a metaphor, and served with a side of deep-fried mockery:

“I can see the moon from my bedroom window, but that doesn’t make me a rocket scientist.”

wait, bad example. Hmmm…I might need some more editing.

It was a semi-productive weekend in the TOG household, with painting, yard work, and partying all being accomplished. Therefore, in honor of my general good mood and national holiday, I shall cast off my normal nay-saying ways and make a few constructive suggestions to the Labor Unions of America. (and really, anybody else who works for a living.)

I’ve ranted extensively on the subject already. So today, on this our most Laborious of all days, I humbly offer suggestions to the workers of this country. Do with them what you will.

• It’s NOT always about the money.
  Numerous scientific studies have shown that once an individual earns enough to cover their most basic needs, (e.g. health, food, shelter) additional cash contributes to only minor improvements in overall happiness. That isn’t to say the the working man should take one for the team. Au contraire, it means that to maximize happiness you should concentrate on the things that might actually make you happy, like generous sick-leave / personal time, flexible work schedules, better food in the cafeteria, or not having to answer to eight different bosses.

• There is no enemy.
  Negotiations aren’t a war. No one is evil, no one is out to get you. The person sitting across the table is just doing their job. In fact, everybody at the entire company is just doing their job. Specifically, they’re attempting to make money for the owners of the company; which coincidentally, is your job too! They may be doing it poorly, or the job itself might be disadvantageous to your interests, but you’re simply not important enough to warrant actual screwing.

  In fact, there are only two reasonable assumptions for why you don’t get your way. The first is that your demands don’t align with the companies best interest. The other is succinctly state via Hanlon’s Razor

  Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

  Dumb people are everywhere. If you’re lucky enough to not be among them, it is your duty to use your superior intellect and communication skills to convince others that you know the best course of action. If you can’t do that, you need to reassess your assumption that you aren’t dumb.

• Seniority is WAY overrated.
  There is absolutely nothing inherent about working somewhere or doing something for a long time that makes you better. It is true that, in general, the longer you do something, the more productive and skilled you will become at it. However, those extra skills don’t come evenly or automatically. 10-years of experience doesn’t always beat 5-years of experience, which doesn’t always beat the 13-year child-prodigy. People are different and should be judged by the quality of their work, not the length of their tenure. This may not seem fair, but unless you work for your 7th-grade gym teacher, trying hard isn’t all that matters.

  This is a huge source of the downfall of the American labor union. Decades of ‘First-in, last-out’ rules and strict tenure-based pay rates have removed the incentive to be productive and innovate, and reward workers for complacency. It works out great for the old-timers in the short term, but eventually the piper comes calling; the company becomes old, bloated devoid of talent, loses 10 billion dollars and everybody loses their job. The scientific term for this phenomenon is known as Flintus Michiganas.

  The solution is pretty simple. Reward good workers for being good workers, not for being old. Raises should be merit and responsibility based. If workers get paid for being better, they will get better. It’s the most fundamental law of economics and human behavior: “People respond to incentives.”

• Real power is knowing when to leave something on the table.
  Back in the 1970’s, during the hey-day of the Detroit-made American car, a reporter was interviewing a local union boss after the signing of a new big lucrative contract. The reporter asked him about his negotiating strategy, and about what the union would be demanding from the company next time. The union boss gave a single word answer, “More.”

  As history would have it, the company was Chrysler, and the contract they signed was a big part of the reason they went effectively bankrupt in 1979 and needed 1.2 billion dollars in federal loan guarantees to stay solvent. Along with the federal bail-out and restructuring outstanding debt, nearly half of all employees were laid off, including 43,600 dues-paying union workers.

  This is a frequent pitfall for blue-collar workers, ESPECAILLY union-represented blue-collar workers. By squeezing every last dime from every last contract, company financials can get spread dangerously thin. It’s a scenario that has repeated itself in every major unionized industry in this country (auto, steel, coal, aircraft, construction, etc.) Whenever companies operate on the edge of profitability, any shift in the economic climate means layoffs. Layoffs breed discontent and low morale, which brings lower productivity and output, which means less money and more layoffs. It’s a vicious circle.

  There are other more immediate and tangible disadvantages to scraping the bottom of the company coffers. The company will demand a lot more accountability from each employee. This means strict clock-in/clock-out times and heavily regulated breaks periods. Be prepared to be treated like livestock. If you’re late 3 times, you’re fired no questions asked. How often do you use the bathroom, and for how long? The company wants to know and will track it. Your afternoon break will occur from 2:05 to 2:13, no exceptions. Why are you talking to Jill from accounting? You’re not allowed on that floor during work hours. (No hyperbole here, these examples are all taken from current IAW contracts.)

  There is only so much money the company is willing to devote to labor. If they give it up somewhere, they’re gonna take it back else ware. If you’re willing to take slightly less money, you can get much more flexibility and job security. It will make you happier and more content, PLUS you get to look magnanimous. Personally, I’m willing to give up the $1/hour to not be treated like cattle.

From my viewpoint, the bottom line is this: You are going to spend a plurality of you life working somewhere. Why make it harder, more stressful, more soul-crushing than it needs to be? For what, a few dollars to buy a bigger car/house/TV or some cheap crap you don’t need? Your labor should be worth more to you than that.

As I sat in the classroom today - utterly confused as to why a just and loving God would allow 2nd-order partial differential equations to be casually used on my second day of class - I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly I’ve gotten myself into.

This class started the same way as every other college class I’ve ever taken, with the professor half-heartedly attempting a lame joke followed by every student half-heartedly pretending to laugh at it. It’s good to see some things are universal.

The Wichita State graduate aerospace program is specifically tailored to the area working professional, (e.g. all classes are Monday/Wednesday or Tuesday/Thursday between 4:00 pm & 8:30 pm) So I was a bit surprised to find that only 6 of the 37 students are returning professionals. Everyone else shows up dressed like they’re headed to a Jimmy Buffet concert. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I remember those days, and they were awesome.

Obviously, the math content for this class will be rough. Though this is partially my fault, since I don’t remember anything I learned past Calculus II six years ago. If we go deeper than what we brushed on today, I’ll probably have to pick up another textbook for some recreational mathematics reading. Be still, my heart!

Finally, I’d like to take a moment to personally address this state’s 3rd largest university:

“Really Wichita State, these are the best facilities you’ve got? 37 students jammed into a cinder block room with flickering lights and a worn out blackboard? My mental math skills tell me you’re pulling down at least $30,000 in tuition for offering this single 3-hour class. Can I at least get some air circulation to take the edge off the combined B.O. of the 20 Indians that surround me?”

Maybe the middle of the Olympics isn’t the best time to mention it, but Alex said it too perfectly to pass up.

America is more than just the land located between certain sets of borders, and it’s more than just the institutions of voting, checks and balances, and all that. At its heart, the United States is a nation “conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.” In other words, the heart of America is its ideals.

True patriotism, in the American sense, has nothing whatsoever with putting a flag on your car’s antenna or saying the Pledge of Allegiance. It has everything to do with being devoted to the idea that all human beings are “endowed with certain inalienable rights.”

As a citizenry, we don’t share a religion, language, ethnicity, or culture. What we do share an idea, an idea way to big to be contained by the bonds of mere nationalism. Anyone demanding a pledge of allegiance or requiring displays of devotion is begging to be lied too. Alex called those that do “Pharisees of Patriotism” I like that, I hope the term catches on.

What does that have to do with the Olympics? Nothing I hope. Certainly you can root for your team and feel good about it. I, for one, will be cheering on the man-beast otherwise known as “Michael Phelps” all week. Also, I want to see Lebron James dunk over Yao Ming, Vince Carter Style. We can all revel together in the shear wonder of the 1000m Canoe race, right?

The next time I hear someone complain about having to choose between “the lesser of two evils” for president this year, I’m gonna punch somebody in the face. Maybe them, maybe myself, maybe an innocent puppy. Either way, I’m walking away with a broken hand.

Humanity in general and politics in specific is necessarily a pragmatic beast. Considering the alternatives, we lucked out. Think for a moment about the filthy disgustingness of a Hillary v. Romney campaign season. How many dozens of rounds of culture war TV ads would we have to sit through. Every last trollop of Clinton 1990’s baggage would come out. And that’s before we got saddled with 4 years of a waffling panderer or the dynamic duo of petty and pestilence.

We could face the option of a President Giuliani shudder Who likely would have become the most ill-tempered, secretive, power-hungry president ever. I don’t exaggerate.

The simple fact is that I would take McCain or Obama of ANY of the “also-rans” from either party. Neither are assholes or pansies. neither are beholden to political parties or special interests or rigid ideologies.

Of course we’ll still have to face insane pandering and ridiculously cynical sniping from both campaign. The the beast we feed. Until the American people stop acting and voting like morons. This is the only king of game in town. Still, give the other options, it could be much, much worse.

I’m far too young to dread birthdays, but here it is anyway: I don’t like my birthday. I don’t like being the center of attention, I don’t like expectation of celebration or joy, I don’t like having the same conversation with everyone.

“How old are you?”…”What, only 25?”

But mostly, I don’t like my birthday because it brings into stark reality that which I have not done. Consider for a moment:

• Orson Wells was 26 when he wrote, directed, produced, and starred in Citizen Kane, probably the greatest artistic feat of the 20th Century.
• Michelangelo completed the Statue of David by 29.
• Issac Newton invented Calculus in head when he was 22. He also invented the reflecting telescope and discovered the nature of light by 31.
• Ayn Rand was 29 when she wrote “We the Living”

That’s just 4 off the top of my head, and I’m not even considering child prodigies like Mozart or 8-year-old Indian boys performing open-heart surgeries. I’m not hubristic enough to believe I could do any of those things by 85, let alone 25. But I think about these acts of excellence and awed by our capacity for great things. How do you possibly live up to something like that?

I’ve spent my entire life preparing for the future, now I’ve come to realize that preparation was impossible because success is impossible. You can’t “win” at life or “beat” the game. The only course is to reach for a piece of our latent capacity and to try.

So I find myself facing another birthday and celebrating another year of inevitably unrealized potential. Oh happy day.

On the other hand, maybe I should just listen to Katie and stop being such a pansy about getting older.

“The journey will be difficult. The road will be long. I face this challenge with profound humility, and knowledge of my own limitations. But I also face it with limitless faith in the capacity of the American people. Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs for the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth. This was the moment — this was the time — when we came together to remake this great nation so that it may always reflect our very best selves, and our highest ideals.”

From contesting the inevitable candidate to the doorstep

• Jarhead trailer

of the most powerful position on earth in 6 months. I want to see what’s next.

A: Because when you girlfriend says, “I have cancer” everything else seems a lot less important.