Welcome to bizzaro-world.
September 19th, 2008 by Kyle
In honor of our un-serious unqualified ill-prepared illustrious vice-presidential nominee, I’d like to share a few facts that I bet you didn’t know:
Alaska is next to Russia. Therefore, Sarah Palin is an international policy expert.
I can see the moon from my window. Therefore, I am a rocket scientist.
Hawaii is an island. Therefore, Barack Obama is an expert in Maritime law.
My next-door neighbor is a divorcée. Therefore, I am a marriage counselor.
I was once pulled over for speeding. Therefore, I know how to fry donuts.
Arizona is next to Nevada, which is next to California, which contains the city of San Fransisco. Therefore, John McCain is gay!
Florida is next to Cuba. Therefore, Jeb Bush is a communist!
My house has a basement. Therefore, I’m a coal-miner!
I drank a glass of water. Therefore, I can captain a submarine.
Fire engines have 8 wheels and carry 4 people. 8 + 4 = 12. There are 12 inches in a foot. One foot is a ruler. There was a ruler named Queen Elizabeth. A ship named Queen Elizabeth sails the seas. In the seas are fish. On the fish are fins. The Fins fought the Russians. Russians are red. Fire engines are always rush’n around. Therefore, fire engines are red.
I could go all day, really.
Any reader additions? Submit them in the comments. If you make me laugh, I’ll give you a cookie*
*by “give you a cookie” Obviously I mean I’ll put your submission in the main text of this post.
This entry was posted on Friday, September 19th, 2008 at 6:26 pm and is filed under Cracking Wise. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Barack Obama taught constitutional law. The word constitution is Latin for important law (most often handed down from the Pope.) Ipso facto: Obama is God.
September 27th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
How old are you? You seem very mature to have such a great lookout on life. Funny,too!