that other guy’s thoughts

It was a semi-productive weekend in the TOG household, with painting, yard work, and partying all being accomplished. Therefore, in honor of my general good mood and national holiday, I shall cast off my normal nay-saying ways and make a few constructive suggestions to the Labor Unions of America. (and really, anybody else who works for a living.)

I’ve ranted extensively on the subject already. So today, on this our most Laborious of all days, I humbly offer suggestions to the workers of this country. Do with them what you will.

• It’s NOT always about the money.
  Numerous scientific studies have shown that once an individual earns enough to cover their most basic needs, (e.g. health, food, shelter) additional cash contributes to only minor improvements in overall happiness. That isn’t to say the the working man should take one for the team. Au contraire, it means that to maximize happiness you should concentrate on the things that might actually make you happy, like generous sick-leave / personal time, flexible work schedules, better food in the cafeteria, or not having to answer to eight different bosses.

• There is no enemy.
  Negotiations aren’t a war. No one is evil, no one is out to get you. The person sitting across the table is just doing their job. In fact, everybody at the entire company is just doing their job. Specifically, they’re attempting to make money for the owners of the company; which coincidentally, is your job too! They may be doing it poorly, or the job itself might be disadvantageous to your interests, but you’re simply not important enough to warrant actual screwing.

  In fact, there are only two reasonable assumptions for why you don’t get your way. The first is that your demands don’t align with the companies best interest. The other is succinctly state via Hanlon’s Razor

  Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

  Dumb people are everywhere. If you’re lucky enough to not be among them, it is your duty to use your superior intellect and communication skills to convince others that you know the best course of action. If you can’t do that, you need to reassess your assumption that you aren’t dumb.

• Seniority is WAY overrated.
  There is absolutely nothing inherent about working somewhere or doing something for a long time that makes you better. It is true that, in general, the longer you do something, the more productive and skilled you will become at it. However, those extra skills don’t come evenly or automatically. 10-years of experience doesn’t always beat 5-years of experience, which doesn’t always beat the 13-year child-prodigy. People are different and should be judged by the quality of their work, not the length of their tenure. This may not seem fair, but unless you work for your 7th-grade gym teacher, trying hard isn’t all that matters.

  This is a huge source of the downfall of the American labor union. Decades of ‘First-in, last-out’ rules and strict tenure-based pay rates have removed the incentive to be productive and innovate, and reward workers for complacency. It works out great for the old-timers in the short term, but eventually the piper comes calling; the company becomes old, bloated devoid of talent, loses 10 billion dollars and everybody loses their job. The scientific term for this phenomenon is known as Flintus Michiganas.

  The solution is pretty simple. Reward good workers for being good workers, not for being old. Raises should be merit and responsibility based. If workers get paid for being better, they will get better. It’s the most fundamental law of economics and human behavior: “People respond to incentives.”

• Real power is knowing when to leave something on the table.
  Back in the 1970’s, during the hey-day of the Detroit-made American car, a reporter was interviewing a local union boss after the signing of a new big lucrative contract. The reporter asked him about his negotiating strategy, and about what the union would be demanding from the company next time. The union boss gave a single word answer, “More.”

  As history would have it, the company was Chrysler, and the contract they signed was a big part of the reason they went effectively bankrupt in 1979 and needed 1.2 billion dollars in federal loan guarantees to stay solvent. Along with the federal bail-out and restructuring outstanding debt, nearly half of all employees were laid off, including 43,600 dues-paying union workers.

  This is a frequent pitfall for blue-collar workers, ESPECAILLY union-represented blue-collar workers. By squeezing every last dime from every last contract, company financials can get spread dangerously thin. It’s a scenario that has repeated itself in every major unionized industry in this country (auto, steel, coal, aircraft, construction, etc.) Whenever companies operate on the edge of profitability, any shift in the economic climate means layoffs. Layoffs breed discontent and low morale, which brings lower productivity and output, which means less money and more layoffs. It’s a vicious circle.

  There are other more immediate and tangible disadvantages to scraping the bottom of the company coffers. The company will demand a lot more accountability from each employee. This means strict clock-in/clock-out times and heavily regulated breaks periods. Be prepared to be treated like livestock. If you’re late 3 times, you’re fired no questions asked. How often do you use the bathroom, and for how long? The company wants to know and will track it. Your afternoon break will occur from 2:05 to 2:13, no exceptions. Why are you talking to Jill from accounting? You’re not allowed on that floor during work hours. (No hyperbole here, these examples are all taken from current IAW contracts.)

  There is only so much money the company is willing to devote to labor. If they give it up somewhere, they’re gonna take it back else ware. If you’re willing to take slightly less money, you can get much more flexibility and job security. It will make you happier and more content, PLUS you get to look magnanimous. Personally, I’m willing to give up the $1/hour to not be treated like cattle.

From my viewpoint, the bottom line is this: You are going to spend a plurality of you life working somewhere. Why make it harder, more stressful, more soul-crushing than it needs to be? For what, a few dollars to buy a bigger car/house/TV or some cheap crap you don’t need? Your labor should be worth more to you than that.