that other guy’s thoughts

Because apparently 3 rounds of layoffs isn’t enough, we need to keep stretching this baby out…again.

We got another wonderful “Workforce Planning Update” by email today. And true to form, this one served no purpose other than to freak everybody out. It wasn’t a ‘you’re fired.’ email, or a ‘you’re gonna be fired’ email, or even a ’some of you will be fired.’ email.

It was a ‘At some unknown date in the future, an unknown number of you will get fired at an unknown time. Also, we’re probably gonna temporarily furlough a different unknown number of you, but we don’t really know when we’ll get around to telling you for sure.’ email. That’s some A+ corporate communications fellas, you earned your bonuses this year.

Personally, if I’m gonna get canned, I’d rather it be as soon as possible, so I mentally check out and start looking for another job. Under normal economic circumstances, I’m eminently employable, but nowadays, it would probably take a few months. You know, in these economic times.

Nothing encourages free-thinking, can-do, American ingenuity like hanging the swords of Damocles above your employees’ heads for 6 solid months.

Oops, is that too obscure a reference? How about “Chinese Water Enhanced Interrogation Techniques Torture” or “Death by a thousand paper cuts?”