that other guy’s thoughts

Is it just me, or is everybody making too much USC’s football team? Sure they are good, but talking about their place among the top teams in collegiate history BEFORE the final game? This phenomenon never bods well for the affected team, I seem to recall a similar situation with Oklahoma in ‘03, Miami in ‘02, the LA Lakers in ‘04, and the St. Louis Rams in ‘01. All lost shortly after being named among the best teams to ever play their respective games prior to winning the big one.

I’m not saying they’ll lose, but absolutely no one is talking about Texas right now. Sports at ever level, and collegiate football in particular, is based on emotion and drive, and the chip on the Longhorns’ collective shoulder is probably enough to block out the sun and will only get bigger over the next week.

So before we proclaim the Trojans as the lords of all creation, let us remember that Matt Leinart is an opportunist with an easy job, Reggie Bush isn’t the 2nd coming of Walter Peyton, and Pete Carol is an NFL reject who utterly failed when forced to compete with such unrefined stiffs as the foundation of the 3-time Super Bowl winning New England Patriots. Calm the fudge down and enjoy meritorious football for its own sake and enjoy the game, you’ll all look stupid afterwards anyway.

I got up late, spent the entire day in my skivvies, and accomplished nothing but a few seasons of Madden, some serious junkfood snacking, and enjoying the fruits of a lazy Christmas.

And I got paid for the whole thing.

I heart holiday pay

I was dreaming last night that I was running in a cross country race where all the runners were drinking beer. There were 26 laps in the race and when I woke up with 2 laps to go, I was in 2nd place.

I have absolutely no idea what this means.

In those days a decree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration and was taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. All went to their own towns to be registered. Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and family of David. He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child.

I am under no such illusion that 2,005 years ago today Jesus was born. For one, December 25th was chosen to usurp a pagan holiday in the days of old and two; the modern calendar is actually off by 3-7 years in relation to Jesus’ birth. But today is as good of a day as any to celebrate the birth of the most influential person to ever walk the earth. Belief or not, faith or none, you’ve got to respect the power of that idea.

I laughed so hard I think I dribbled a little bit in my pants.

Lazy Sunday

It’s all about the Hamilton’s Baby!

I’m sitting at work; casually ease dropping on the one-sided phone conversation about reserving some tables for a lunch meeting tomorrow someone else is having in the office, when I hear him mention the desire for Turkish coffee. I’ve never heard of Turkish coffee before, except for the fact that last night, I had a dream about overhearing a restaurant order for Turkish coffee.

What are the odds that I would dream about the exact sequence of events that would occur to me less than 24 hours later, including seemingly mundane details so specifically unknown to me? The resemblances between my dream my shortly lived reality are to uncanny to write off and mere coincidence, especially when this sort of random dream induced foresight has occurred to me in the past. It’s never anything along the lines of conscious fortune telling, but random dream sequences that come to fruition in my real life.

Because this is too consistently coincidental to write off, I have come to one of four conclusions. Either the omnipotent forces that be are having some fun with me while I sleep, the brain has untested potential for anticipation, ‘The Matrix’ was a documentary, or I’m just freaking out and the concept of free will isn’t a cruelly farce being played on me.

When the historians look back on the demise of american civilization, all signs will point to one thing: MTV’s Next. We are all dumber for having been exposed to it.

You all should be proud of me; I ran a productive and only slightly awkward teleconference meeting composed entirely of people I have never met. Thus combining two of the things I hate the most in this world: people and the phone.

Okay, enough with the musings of an obviously cynical young man about the meaning of life. From now until Christmas, I’m only posting shallow thoughts and funny sundries to amuse the masses. It won’t all be happy, but even the thinnest among you should understand me. To start it off…

What’s the deal with everybody respecting that new movie “The Producers”? I thought we had turned our collective back on remake movies. Is there some exception about movies adapted from plays adapted from movies? And what is up with the award show respect? There is a reason they don’t hand out an Oscar for ‘Best screenplay based on a screenplay.’

And there is also a unwritten rule against remaking a movie until its architect is gone. There also should be a definite reason for a remake. There should be unrealized potential for something. The only possible improvement I could see is Will Ferrell as crazy German guy, because the more absurd the character, the better he is at it.

Fa-shizzle my Nizzles, it’s the Tee-Oh-Single-Gizzle and his kindly list of weekly hotness, known only as…
TOG’s Semi-Official Weekly List

The Over-hyped:
Jokes about gay cowboys eating pudding
People
Intelligent Design
“Degrading Treatment”

Got the Upside:
Men of Old
Days of Yore
Post-Graduate Education
Capitalism