that other guy’s thoughts

Throw your hand up, if you like to shake babies
Throw your hand up, if you punch pregnant ladies
Throw your hand up, if you pee in the pool
cancer’s not so bad, you get to wear a hat to school

-from one of the funniest, most offensive, and wittiest bands I’ve ever come across. And they happen to be local.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the unforgettably hilarious Nutsnack I’m going to randomly drop lines of their lyrics in the occasional post for a while, so it might behoove you to do a little research for the inside jokes.

They remind me of a more comedy oriented and irreverent 2 Skinnee J’s. My most favoritest band ever. For anybody in Wichita over the holidays, they’re playing John Barleycorn’s on Dec. 30th and we should all have some fun.

Welcome to the returning reoccuring segment…
TOG’s Semi-Official Weekly List

The Overhyped:
Bird Flu
Old School Everything
Professional Football

Got the Upside:
KU Football
Computer Games
The Unrelenting Principle of Change

So lets lay some ground rules for the legitimate discussion on force deployment in Iraq:

The mere suggestion that U.S. troops may have done all that can be done, and should begin coming home is NOT analogous to treason, nor does it instantly discredit the suggestor as liberal pinko commie defeatist. It is entirely possible to support our troops and believe they should come home.

Just because you complain or speak you mind doesn’t mean anyone agrees with you, or even is listening. And suggesting a withdrawal now doesn’t mean that when it actually happens over the new few years, it was because of you. Withdrawal is not necessarily defeat. The goal wasn’t the stars and bars ruling or’e the land, so leaving was eventually going to happen regardless.

Blood-for-oil, Haliburton, corporation being corporationy, and President Bush’s National Guard record have no rightful place in this discussion, so if you invoke a hippy buzzword you lose all speaking privileges.

What’s done is done, complaining about the past is pretty damn useless and you need to realize this isn’t 2002 and we understand your angsty anarchism prevents you from condoning the harming of any of mother earth’s heavenly beings. Go back and go back to level 9 Vegan lichen salad. Hell, we kicked more of an ass (Spain) for less of a justification (U.S.S. Maine) than this 100 years ago, and we’re not we’re not arguing the merits of the Spanish-American war outside history classrooms are we. And McKinely was dumb, corrupt, AND fat (though being assassinated pretty much gives you guaranteed positive post-humus legacy)

9/11 adrenaline and corresponding free pass stopped short at the Afgan border. Vengeance hath been wrought upon the pagans’ heads. At this point using it as justification is disrespectful, dishonest, and a discredit to the legitimate and principled grounds for a fight against a growing militant Islamic threat. It’s not a blank check for your rages against the brown ones.

Now discuss as you will, but don’t be surprised if I call you a French-loving American-hating stuck-up fatalist or a bloodthirsty inbred ignorant lout, because you probably are.

There, I said it first. We all get it, turkey make you go sleepy, nappy time!

Now let it go!

Since I’ve got nobody here to keep my rabid ego in check, I’ve gone and outdone myself with an attempt at consumables. ‘Stuffed Acorn Squash, with a pork and apple cider stuffing spiced with oregano and white whine and pepper to taste’; what the hell is wrong with me? If I had a digital camera I’d carefully document my near certain failure, but instead I’ll just let you all know how bad I get shown up by grandma on Thursday, and whether or not I’m convicted of arson for burning the apartment complex to the ground with a dish obviously out of my league.

There are only two ways this is ending, I’m getting my own show on the Food Network, or I’m never allowed to cook for any social function ever again. There is no middle ground.

In a triumphant new format, and resurrected after a 2.5 Year sabbatical, it’s…
TOG’s Semi-Official Weekly List

The Ballyhooed:
California
Baltimore Orioles
Roe

Got the Upside:
Renting
Warm Donuts
Wade

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

And now the answer with due merit belonging to a couple of the bestest female friends there ever were:

Pilgrims

I will have to give a ridiculously premised safety presentation to 30+ engineers in my group having never even witnessed a professional presentation.

On the bright side, it’ll be video-taped and sent to Cessna engineering facilities in both Independence, KS and Columbus, GA. Even better, I’m sure the audience will be cordial about being forced to listen to a boring newbie lecture them about how not to die. Hurray for humiliating and senseless opportunities!

As much as I’d like to brag of my headstrong independence in days gone by, this year is really the first time I’m celebrating Thanksgiving as an autonomous attendee at the family festivities. Up until now I’ve come home from college, and traveled to where the family was attending dinner with the ‘rents and little bro. This year, it’s a straight shot from south Wichita to grandma’s house I go. Many shallow water crevasses will be traversed, but it’s Kansas, so I doubt I’ll travel through anything truly resembling a forest.

There are a lot of new unwritten rules I need to get used to. I, myself, need to bring a consumable food item, and will be called upon to be a true conversationalist. Politeness and cordiality are not my strong suit, and no one in my family seems to understand or appreciate my brand of wit.

Now If you’ll pardon me, I need to learn how to bake.

Have you yet discovered the overwhelming awesomeness of GarageBand.com?

I have also sold out my computer geek soul; I won’t divulge my sins until they’re fully atoned for. Suffice to say, I’m a sucker for 18-month free financing.

I’m calling it right here and right now, Aaron Sorkin’s new show, Studio 7 on the Sunset Strip, premiering in the fall of next year, will be the absolute shiznit. Abso-freak’n-loutely shiz-tastic. Remember this when it gets 345 Emmy’s in two years.