that other guy’s thoughts

Maybe the middle of the Olympics isn’t the best time to mention it, but Alex said it too perfectly to pass up.

America is more than just the land located between certain sets of borders, and it’s more than just the institutions of voting, checks and balances, and all that. At its heart, the United States is a nation “conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.” In other words, the heart of America is its ideals.

True patriotism, in the American sense, has nothing whatsoever with putting a flag on your car’s antenna or saying the Pledge of Allegiance. It has everything to do with being devoted to the idea that all human beings are “endowed with certain inalienable rights.”

As a citizenry, we don’t share a religion, language, ethnicity, or culture. What we do share an idea, an idea way to big to be contained by the bonds of mere nationalism. Anyone demanding a pledge of allegiance or requiring displays of devotion is begging to be lied too. Alex called those that do “Pharisees of Patriotism” I like that, I hope the term catches on.

What does that have to do with the Olympics? Nothing I hope. Certainly you can root for your team and feel good about it. I, for one, will be cheering on the man-beast otherwise known as “Michael Phelps” all week. Also, I want to see Lebron James dunk over Yao Ming, Vince Carter Style. We can all revel together in the shear wonder of the 1000m Canoe race, right?

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

(breath)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

(breath)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

That is the sound of victory my friends.

That is also the sound of me singing and dancing for joy all around in my home office. It’s a good thing my curtains were closed, because I probably looked really ridiculous from the street.

We just went from having the worst to one of the best 1st basemen for the next 1.5 years. All we gave up was a catcher and short stop who were both stuck behind legitimate all-stars for at least the next 2 years. Plus we got the decent lefty Ron Mahay to shore up the bullpen. As long as the Mets keep on a’sucking, they’re toast. 4.5 games back with 2 months left? No problem. I feel like I’ve just be served a sweet plate of deep-fried horsepower with a side of awesome sauce.

I haven’t been this happy after a trade since we picked up Edgar Rentaria two winters ago for the dullard formerly known as Andy Marte.

I don’t know how I missed it, but the pride of Wamego (aside from me of course,) Travis Metcalf, was called up to play for the Texas Rangers earlier this season. He’s even hit a home run, awesome.

I know a Major League baseball player, not real well, but we had classes together and that counts right? I helped a big leaguer with trigonometry. If I can’t be one, this is the next best thing right? I think I’m going to audition to be part of his entourage.

You thought this was the only TOG audio post ever.

Wrong!

It was so well recieved I made another one. Telling yet another personal story, this time from my distant past. I present to you:

Why I never became a professional baseball player.

Enjoy!

each year I die a little more.

Have you seen Spanglish? Probably not because it didn’t do so well at the box office.

Anyway. Adam Sandler’s character owns & runs a little restaurant that is getting reviewed by a major food critic. He decides that he wants to be rated 2.5 stars, because it still means the food is good but there isn’t the pressure of being a 3 or 4-star restaurant.

There is a big build-up, and on the day of the review he casually walks out to the driveway to pick up the paper, brings it inside and finds himself a private moment to read the review. He sits down, takes a moment and nervously opens the newspaper and instantly exclaims:

“*BLEEP* You!”

The reviewer gave him 4 stars and went so far as to call him “The best chef in America”

The whole life he had built for himself was instantly destroyed. He now longer had a quaint little restaurant that paid the bills. He now had a premier establishment, which meant more work and less time with the family. He came to that realization before we even knew what the review was. it’s a great scene and I recomend the book for that single moment alone.

So how does this justify this post being categorized under “Fun with Balls”?

A few days ago I was casually reading one of my favorite sports columns, and the writer was discussing the NCAA tourney and what he thought of each team, in reverse order from worst to first. I didn’t think anything off it until I got down the the very last entry. Then I could only think 1 thought:

“*BLEEP* You Bill Simmons, *BLEEP* You!

Do you know the way to San Jose?
I’ve been away so long
I may go wrong and lose my way
Do you know the way to San Jose
I’m going back to find some piece of mind San Jose -a
L. A. is a great big freeway
Put a hundred down a by a car
In a week - or maybe two - they’ll make you a star
Weeks turn into years and quickly pass
And all the stars there never were a parkin’ cars and pumpin’ gas
I’ve got lots of friends in San Jose
Wo oh oh oh
Can’t wait to get back to San Jose
Wo oh oh oh
Do You know the way to San Jose?

-Burt Bacharach & Hal David, Do you know the way to San Jose

Kansas 107, Niagra 67
Kansas 88, Kentucky 76

Hello Sweet 16, have you missed us?

“Remember, Feb. 19 is when we beat ‘The Streak.’ ”
-Bob Huggins, Oct 15 2006

Sorry Huggy, the streak lives

In the entirety of my life, K-State has never beaten KU in Manhattan.

Every year, in the 23 1/2 years I’ve been alive, the University of Kansas men’s basketball team has played a game against the Kansas State University men’s basketball team on the Wildcat’s home court, and every year they have won.

That’s just nuts. This is freaking college basketball we’re talking about. No home team should lose to any road time 24 straight times. This is absurd…absurdly awesome.

Tonight those dirty bastards from Mizzou come into the Allen Fieldhouse to play a nationally televised game against my beloved #5 Jayhawks. My only regret is that I will neither be there to curse them, nor be able to watch on television. Alas the drudgery of the 2nd shift. So I wish them luck and leave you all with my immortal words to live by:

It’s never a bad time to Muck Fizzou.