that other guy’s thoughts

Good Guys, Bad Guys, and Explosions…as far as the eye can see.

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Okay, now that I’ve gotten the requisite 8 hours and 42 minutes of sleep, had my breakfast, and enjoyed another day without an alarm clock, I’m ready to dispense wit and wisdom as I see fit.

A few notes about the article today:

I seem to have fallen victim to the ol’ literary mechanism of the wraparound, beginning and ending a particular piece with a related reference, thus leaving the impression of coherence without the actual toil of writing it. I’d go off on a scholarly tangent about the decline of modern writing if neither my four favorite writers nor I had frequented said mechanism on numerous occasions. That, and based on my own hackery of the english language, I’ve lost the right to critique the written word.

I’m apparently the only blogger in Wichita with a top-level domain and the only one who jumped on the bandwagon before last Tuesday. I don’t even think that I’m an early adopter, when I got in the game 4 years ago tons of people already had blogs.

Have you seen this dude’s eyes? I think my soul is on fire.

I feel a bit dirty about being labeled a “Wichita” blogger. Sure I live here, and will likely continue to do so for at least a few years, but I sure don’t feel local after only being here for five months. I didn’t feel local in Lawrence either, but we can chock that one up to hippy detestation, and sorority girl indifference. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I felt local about my childhood home of 16 years, the bustling metropolis of Wamego. So maybe it’s me.

Since old people still don’t understand this fancy “inter-web” thing, don’t you think it’s a bit early to drop the obligatory “web log = blog” explanation in traditional media? If you move to quickly with the pop culture to mainstream nomenclature, anybody without a TiVo Season Pass of MTV News will just think you’re making up words to mess with them.

“Technorati estimates there are more than 15 million blogs in the United States, and it expects the number to double every five months.”
From the man who’s a veteran of many an Internet fad, let me tell you this: The only thing that happens more frequently than a new blog popping up, is a new blogger giving up when they realize nobody cares.

And finally:

I knew this article was coming for like a month, but still couldn’t manage to update my pathetically broken-link fest, visually represented by the side bar. Seriously, my 100 things section hasn’t been updated in like 2 years. In the words of the prophet, “That is Suck.”

OMMFG! This list is atrocious. Something had to be done…so I did it.

Behold! TOG’s sensible words on blatant internet advertising dressed up as helpful.

1. A top-notch coffee/espresso maker
Do you know in how many different ways coffee is bad for you? Dozens. Sure they’re all mild and not really dangerous, but spending $230 on a vile serum that’s addictive and gives you headaches? It could be a nice luxury if you’re really into the java scene, but a must own? Hardly.

2. A lamp in your bedroom
Not just in the bedroom, you need a light source besides the standard overhead in every room. Not because she’ll like it, but because it’s easier to live with.

3. Swiffer Sweeper + Swiffer Cloths + Swiffer Wet Cloths
You don’t need name brand crap, If you clean regularly, you’re fine. A quick floor duster is quite useful if you’re pressed for time, but once again not exactly a ‘must have’.

4. A comfortable couch
Absolutely.

5. Nice underwear
Bingo, wow, 2 in a row with no objections? Am I losing my touch.

6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything
Nope, you don’t need 9 different utensils in your pocket. A solid gentlemen’s pocketknife will solve nearly all problems you can encounter. Weren’t you ever a boy scout?

7. $150+ jeans
If a women ever judges you for not owning a pair of 150-dollar jeans, I suggest I quick punch in the ovaries…yep a right hook to the baby makers. Then maybe her horrible petty jean genes won’t live to see another generation.

8. $200+ dress shoes
Double rectal punch just for kicks. $80 can buy you a very nice set of shoes. Very functional very sharp, and you can save $120.

9. 300-thread-count cotton sheets
You’re not honestly going to decide what sheets to get based on a 15-minute (if you’re lucky) activity that will warrant a next day trip to the laundry mat are you? Get good sheets because you spend about 1/3 of your life in bed. If you’ve got to spend the rest of your life in the uncomfortable world, you should be able take sanctuary in you own soft bed.

10. The Joy of Cooking
You don’t need ‘hip cooking fad book of the year’. You need to learn to cook. Of all possible expressive outlets one could have. Being a decent and flexible cook is one of the easiest yet totally impressive skills. Besides, you’ve got to eat anyway; you might as well enjoy your own food. It’s crazy cheaper than eating out.

And now that you’ve saved all that money, you can be a real man, invest in your future and eventually put your kids through college.

Now taking nominations for the DTFU hall-o-fame.

Nominations for the 2nd annual induction ceremony may be for people, events, or anything else you can think of…I’m open to even the wildest and wackiest possibilities. Nominations will be taken though the 14th and the inductee(s) will be annouced shortly thereafter.

All nominations are welcome, as Juby must be getting pretty lonely.

It appears that Juby will soon be working at the official gourmet sandwich shop of TOG. TOG also wonders if he will gain the special powers that come with joining the new species.

So maybe I’m the only college student left in the country who is NOT on the facebook, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It seems to me that once every six months or so I get somebody asking me “Hey, are you participating in popular internet fad #837 yet?”

No, No, No. I’m an internet snob and I know it.

And yes, I do see the irony here. Using a weblog, popular internet fad #384, to express my disgust over a popular internet fad

Happy 21nd to The Mooch We here at TOGT anticipate you arrival from Chi-Town, and we hope you have a Moochilicously Moochtastic Moochfest of a 21rd anniversary of your birth.

Looks like Juby’s got himself a little gig spinning tracks over at KJHK.

Yes, I’m jealous.

Dana’s bun in the oven is about done, and we here at TOG’s thoughts wish her a healthy and happy baby boy. If you haven’t already, enjoy her daily dose good times at Note-It Posts

The first being a distinct lack of people saying nice things to me through my Gmail account.

The second being the few invitations to get a Gmail account that I just can’t seem to get rid of.

hmmm…whatever shall I do?