Remember back before reality television, if you wanted to see some crazy crap you actually had to have a crazy friend?

You know the guy, he didn’t have a whole lot going for him, but always seemed to be into the strangest stuff. He always had the cool nickname, like Skeeter, Cockroach, Heavy E, or Pimp Juice. And you always ended up having a lot more fun when he was around.

So now instead of entertaining their friends directly, crazy friends from around the country audition against one another to get on reality shows and entertain their friends through the magical talking picture box.

With fearless group leader away at Six Sigma training all week, Mark and I are battling the tri-headed beasts of negligence, stupidity, and random statistical error all by ourselves. To make matters worse, flight line production support is recovering in the hospital from something of which no one knows. Therefore, what should be the work of five full-fledged engineers in currently being done by Marky Mark and his fantastic funky bunch of 1.

I would say the days are intense had I not just had any rational connection with the outside world’s conception of work utterly severed by the last four years of my life.

Just as a matter of predicition, I would not be surprised if the city of New Orleans was underwater for a great long while after this one.

When I got my new job, I called up Capital One to get the credit line increased from the $500 limit I had during college. I was informed by a pleasant young lady that they could increase the line “all the way to 800 dollars”. My income was increasing 5-fold, and my expenses were more than doubling. An extra 300 dollars would quite cut it. Presumably the reason for imposing this credit limit was that the risk of me defaulting on more than $800 was unacceptable to the company.

While their magical computer assessment of my financial risk is clearly ludicrous, I didn’t feel slighted, disenfranchised, or angry in any way. There are plenty of credit card companies out there; acquiring a new one with a much higher credit line is just a little more work.

I was however, a little miffed when I got an offer last week from capital one detailing that; if I transferred the balance from my other credit cards, they would increase my credit line by the sum total of those balances, up to 10,000 dollars. This chain of events strikes me as incredibly stupid.

First I couldn’t get an limit increase because I didn’t have a positive enough credit history (it’s still positive, no late payments or anything, but I was 21-years old so I don’t have an extensive background of financial responsibility), and couldn’t prove to them that I fiscally responsible. Now however, if I had 10,000 dollars in outstanding credit card debt, proving conclusively that I had no such sense of fiscal responsibility, they would gladly assume the risk.

The ironic part of it all is that their decision to not increase my credit limit is actually in their best interest. Since I always pay my bill completely and entirely every month, they make no money off me, and I, in effect, get zero-interest 30-day loans for all my expenses.

I'm all for sound financial advice about retirement, wise money now is more money later. But why restrict your business to only the academic, research, medical, and cultural communities, like TIAA-CREF?

And why do only academic, research, medical, and cultural communities serve the "greater good"?

There must be some common link between these industries. Medicine and Academics personally and tangibly deal with others to make their immediate situations better. Any gains achieved by the scientific communities will likely take decades before ever impacting many people. And there is little doubt that cultural institutions do anything except drain municipal government coffers and make those involved feel good about themselves.

The only plausible explanation I can come up with is the public perception that these professionals are smarter or more enlightened than everybody else. The two typically assumed smartest people are the brain surgeon and the rocket scientist. And who teaches the smartest people in the world. Ahh, the teachers. So, they obviously must be crazy smart themselves. And we feel bad about thinking so much about the future, so lets play nice with someone who reminds us of how different we all are.

I'm willing to stave off a rant about the non-existence of rocket-scientists and the unrecognized Rocket-engineers.

No...wait, I'm not.

Why is the greater good dominion limited to these three areas?

By elevating them so this level you deem them as more 'noble' than they other jobs out there. But what about the construction worker? He builds your house, your place of business, and the infrastructure that you use everyday. Without his blood and sweat, there are no hospitals to save peoples lives, no schools to teach in, no institutes of research to study the natural world.

What about the engineer? He is responsible for the designs and inventions that chart the progress of civilization, and ensures that the logistics of this world are not stopping the human race from prosperity.

How about the farmer? 1 Kansas farmer goes food so that 127 of the rest of us can build building, design airplanes, teach children, cure diseases, and spend our time doing something aside from scavenging for food. Because even Napoleon knew that a civilization can only go as far as it's food supply.

What about the police officers, firemen, military, and other public officials who ensure safety and security for all citizens? Maintaining order eliminates the fear and frees our minds to continue to press on with life's other challenges.

The problem isn't the desire to help those who help others. It's failing to recognize that living peacefully within a society IS helping others.

I build airplanes, the farmers raises crops, the teacher educates, the construction worker builds houses, the baseball player entertains, the doctor cures, and the military protects us all. That way everybody has a roof over their head, food in their stomach, learns to think the ways of the world, can enjoy a nice walk down to the stadium for a game, and a quick trip home to see their friends and family. It's the way an orderly society and works, and it's all for the greater good.

A funny thing, wit. I use to get in all kinds of trouble for back-talking the parents as a child. Up until now I just figured I had trouble dealing with true authority, but in reality I was just too smart for my own good. Providence and natural talent should have led me to something constructive like debate team, but being the fragile little fellow I was, I stuck to math, science, and history, and other reclusive outlets for my overflowing sassafras gland.

By any objective standard, I am both smarter and more intelligent than my parents. But I am admittedly much less wise. Wisdom is a quality that comes with age and experience, neither of which I've really got. Looking back however, I wonder at what point in my childhood did I eclipse my parents in intelligence. Sure they stopped being able to help me with my homework in the 7th grade, but they still understood the unseen forces that made the world work much more than my 12-year old self. I don't know when it happened, but it probably occurred about the time I learned how to trick my parents into logical conundrums and weaseled my way into getting permission to do as I wished using only my words.

There is a hole gang of these 'apprentice becomes the master' moments have occurred during my lifetime. I now make more money than my parents individually, and so at some point I'll have better 'stuff' than they do. (Not so much in that that is my goal, but in that my financial responsibilities and priorities lie in different areas. I have neither a mortgage payment nor health insurance premiums to pay. I exist on considerable less money, so I naturally have more disposable income)

The hole point being that these moments will continue to occur, and I only wish I actually knew when they were happening so that I could gain some useful perspective on my life.

The entire city of Wichita has a collectively unhealthy obsession with this BTK thing. Sure you’ve seen it on cable news every couple of days, whenever something would happen in court, but here in Wichita, it’s surreal. There has been at least one story with ties to the case on the front two pages of the Wichita Eagle everyday for at least the last 2 months.

As a new resident who wasn’t even alive when bodies were dropping, and up until two months ago was convinced BTK was the same case that the movie ‘in cold blood’ was based on; it is absolutely eerie walking in an entire city’s obsession which you can never fully understand. It’s like living through the tail end of someone else’s nightmare. An intangible perversion just hangs around every time the subject comes up, as if the mere mention of it awakens a horrible scenario in each person’s mind. As an outsider even I feel like I need a shower after being present at any mention of the acronym.

The subject consistently starts out with mentions of the fear and mourning the victims’ families must have felt, but something twisted always arises, as though the angels of solace and comfort get shouted down by the demons of trepidation in their minds, and they turn to grisly details and reality of what actually happened.

I don’t pretend to truly understand their feelings, and I certainly find no fault in their desire to cope. I do, however, wonder if these lines of thought aren’t a bit self-fulfilling, an entire city drowning is their own woe does little to bring long overdue closure to a community in desperate need to get on with the business of living.

Why is the machine that cools the air called and air conditioner, and the machine that heats the air is called a heater? Technically should all machines that change the properties of air be called air conditioners? Heaters, cooler, humidifiers, dehumidifiers, should all be types of ‘air conditioners’ .

I've got a big ol' essay brewing on the perils of the american tax code and the gap between the haves and the have-nots. I'm still refining the text (translation: nowhere near coherent statements right now) but I'll give you mini-preview of the things to come.

"...he’s probably even happy with a proportionally unfair flat tax system. But at some point asking him to screw himself exponentially becomes patently ridiculous.

Oh, and while you’re at it, insulting HIM as greedy would add some extraordinarily ironic flair into the mix."

The workload around here is incredibly variable. Last Thursday, Mark and I, combined, dealt with at minimum 22 different problems, we worked non-stop and had to stay a little late to finish it all up. Today, we might have seen eight, and had time to discuss the legal ramifications of a couple of 14 year olds marrying.

For the first time since I was 2, I’m not going school in the fall. For 19 years going to school was my occupation and part of my identity. My earliest memory comes from school. It feels weird, having a daily activity that was the central experience of my life suddenly disappear. I thoroughly enjoy my job, and I know I made the right decision to not go to grad school full time, I still can't say that I won't miss it, even if just a little.

At school you've got a consistent and never ending source of friends, foes, challenges, and rewards. It was relentless and trying at times, but school provided the structure that all kids need.

But alas, we all change chapters in life. But for the first time, it feels as though I'm not in a textbook anymore.

Despite intrinsic advertisements to the contrary, the killers have got soul, but are apparently not soldiers.

What the hell kind of world are we living in when Bob Costas is the most principled journalist there is?

In addition, despite his utter lack of personality and ignorant boasting. Al Gore's new pet project, bridging the gap between TV and the intenet from the TV side, is not as stupid as one would think. While everybody else is trying to put TV shows on the internet, Current TV will aparently try to bring Internet stuff to the TV. The formatting sounds pretty interesting, though I'm not so sure about the content. And much of the alure of the internet is the interaction it provides, if they can sucessfully transfer that aspect, the channel might not fail as quickly as everyone thinks it will. If Cox would pick up current TV, I'd be willing to give it a shot. It's gotta be better than the eighth season of redundant reality show, or a half season of endlessly predictable situational comedy show.

I was just informed that the SAE team was featured in the current issue of Oread Engineer, though an online version isn’t available. My division supervisor actually alerted me to the article, which features a couple of my quotes, so I guess that’s a positive impression on the new boss.

I haven’t heard anything about the flying chariot of ill will we designed this spring. The results of the design competition were supposed to be released in August, but if AIAA is anything like every other organization in the world, I’ll find out next June.

Textron Aerospace Fasteners makes a product call the Hemlok® Structural Fastener. It’s a blind fastener (can be install entirely from one side), so it takes special procedures and equipment to install. Specifically, air powered pull guns. The gun clamps on the stem synchs down, deforms the backside of the head and cuts and spits the remainder of the stem out.

Now that’s all very tiresome way of telling someone to install any fastener, so for short hand, we just prefer to tell them to perform the ‘Hemlok Maneuver’.

Cue the booing

setting IT professionals back 10 years at a Best Buy near you.

You haven't lived until you've had a small Korean woman do all your laundry for you.

Being as tomorrow marks my 2 month job anniversary, I've unofficially taken over my own area of the production floor. As with any job, I started out not doing, or being able to do, jack. Gradually I've learned my ass off and began taking on more and more responsibility. First I just watched, and then I started typing up repair dispositions for others, then I started suggesting repairs and typing them up. For the last month I've been scoping out all the minor repairs for the entire Sovereign line, and letting the full fledged engineers know what needs a closer look, and what they can armchair dispo.

And now, I get my own area. Not officially of course. Officially I can't tell anybody to do anything for another 10 months. It's a signing authority/FAA thing with which I whole heartedly agree. Do you honestly want a zero-experience, 21 year old kid as the last line of defense for an aircrafts safety? Me neither. So, we learn all we can for a full year before we can make any un-consulted decisions.

Back on topic now; I'm now the first point of contact for any problems, in both the forward cabin, and the tail cone of the Citation Sovereign. Which is pretty awesome, and a bit unnerving. But I'll have the more experienced guys looking over my shoulder preventing me from letting airplanes break in half, which is even more awesome.

The grand point being that I'm told that I'm picking up on the job faster that most do, which is a bit of a boost to the ol' ego, and an encouraging sign that I just might be cut out for this engineering thing after all.

You get a shiver in the dark
It's been raining in the park, but meantime
South of the river you stop and you hold everything
A band is blowing Dixie double four time
You feel all right when you hear that music ring

You step inside but you don't see too many faces
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jazz go down
Too much competition too many other places
But not too many horns can make that sound
Way on downsouth, way on downsouth, London town

You check out Guitar George, he knows all the chords
Mind he's strictly rhythm he doesn't want to make it cry or sing
And an old guitar is all he can afford
When he gets up under the lights to play his thing

And Harry doesn't mind if he doesn't make the scene
He's got a daytime job he's doing alright
He can play honky tonk just like anything
Saving it up for Friday night
With the Sultans, with the Sultans of Swing

Amid a crowd of young boys they're fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles
They don't give a damn about any trumpet playing band
It ain't what they call rock and roll
And the Sultans, the Sultans played Creole

And then the man he steps right up to the microphone
And says at last just as the time bell rings
'Thank you goodnight now it's time to go home'
and he makes it fast with one more thing
We are the Sultans, we are the Sultans of Swing

-Dire Straits, Sultans of Swing

I've been tossing around the idea of going to graduate school in the spring. It's not so much the desire to learn, as it is the desire to become absurdly overqualified for my job. Also it's 100% paid for by Cessna, so it's almost stupid not to take advantage of it.

I'm not really sure what so of disipline I want. The easy answer is an M.S. in aerospace at WSU. While that would likely be the most enjoyable route, it doesn't really do anything for my knowledge diversity. So I've been considering an alternative engineering route, either some other engineering disipline (mechanical, materials & processes, etc.) or some other aviation avenue. Embry Riddle offers a distance program in Aviation mangement. Or I could screw the airplane stuff all together and get my MBA, the upside being uber-career mobility and the least amount of work, the downside being that it's an MBA, quite possibley the least useful of all post graduate degrees (anything earned given in the school of liberal arts excepted, of course)

I've got a bit of time before I need to apply and actually make a decision. And I know not much of my audience has any knowledge of the merits of post graduate degrees, (I'm sure its do to your young ages and not your rampant stupidity, calm the fudge down) but any advice would be appreciated.

OMMFG! This list is atrocious. Something had to be done...so I did it.

Behold! TOG's sensible words on blatant internet advertising dressed up as helpful.

1. A top-notch coffee/espresso maker
Do you know in how many different ways coffee is bad for you? Dozens. Sure they're all mild and not really dangerous, but spending $230 on a vile serum that's addictive and gives you headaches? It could be a nice luxury if you're really into the java scene, but a must own? Hardly.

2. A lamp in your bedroom
Not just in the bedroom, you need a light source besides the standard overhead in every room. Not because she'll like it, but because it's easier to live with.

3. Swiffer Sweeper + Swiffer Cloths + Swiffer Wet Cloths
You don't need name brand crap, If you clean regularly, you're fine. A quick floor duster is quite useful if you're pressed for time, but once again not exactly a 'must have'.

4. A comfortable couch
Absolutely.

5. Nice underwear
Bingo, wow, 2 in a row with no objections? Am I losing my touch.

6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything
Nope, you don't need 9 different utensils in your pocket. A solid gentlemen's pocketknife will solve nearly all problems you can encounter. Weren't you ever a boy scout?

7. $150+ jeans
If a women ever judges you for not owning a pair of 150-dollar jeans, I suggest I quick punch in the ovaries...yep a right hook to the baby makers. Then maybe her horrible petty jean genes won't live to see another generation.

8. $200+ dress shoes
Double rectal punch just for kicks. $80 can buy you a very nice set of shoes. Very functional very sharp, and you can save $120.

9. 300-thread-count cotton sheets
You're not honestly going to decide what sheets to get based on a 15-minute (if you're lucky) activity that will warrant a next day trip to the laundry mat are you? Get good sheets because you spend about 1/3 of your life in bed. If you've got to spend the rest of your life in the uncomfortable world, you should be able take sanctuary in you own soft bed.

10. The Joy of Cooking
You don't need 'hip cooking fad book of the year'. You need to learn to cook. Of all possible expressive outlets one could have. Being a decent and flexible cook is one of the easiest yet totally impressive skills. Besides, you've got to eat anyway; you might as well enjoy your own food. It's crazy cheaper than eating out.

And now that you've saved all that money, you can be a real man, invest in your future and eventually put your kids through college.

I've been around computers and computer people long enough to know when not to mess with somebody, and I'm not messing with the Textron IT guys. So, instead of throwing caution to the wind and posting whenever I damn well please. I'm casually circumventing the authority dictating that internet use is restricted to business use only. So, instead of posting directly from work and leaving an ever so conspicuous trail of disregard, I shall type my thoughts using the quite versitile infinitely flexible uber-utility notepad, and then e-mail them to myself where i will post when I get home.

TOG, cowardly backing down from the evil corporations whom you loathe so much.

but not THAT good.

How the hell did the KU alumni association find me already? I went out of my way to hide all information about my plans and whereabouts after graduation from them, and some how they find me within 2 months.

There are cities that don't handle water well, and then there is Wichita.

Its been straight up bone dry here for a few weeks. 90's and 100's since June. the ground is figuratively a crusty dry sponge. and yet when we were blessed with a bit of the wet mana from heaven for less than 3 hours, I end up calking my wagon and floated the river otherwise known as West Pawnee street on my way home from work.

I was totally okay with that until the wagon tiped over and I lost 200 lbs of damn buffalo meat. Do you know how hard it is to prevent sally from dying of malariea when there's nothing but jack rabbits to hunt for? i'll tell you, real g...

-I'm interrupting this post because that whole oregon trail reference isn't nearly as funny as I thought it was going to be, so lets just skip to the end of the post shall we?-

...and that's how the city of Eugene legalized assisted suicide.

I was totally kidding about being back last month. Not intentionally kidding mind you. I had fully planned on regular posting, I ordered awesomely fast DSL for myself and everything. Unfortunately, when UPS attempts to deliver an installation package to your apartment while you're not there, they give it to the apartment complex office instead. Double unfortunately, when your apartment complex office is staffed by a stampeding pack of simpletons, they lose your packages in mere hours and can' understand why anyone could possibly be annoyed with them.

But rest assured dear readers; I post from my very own computer in my very own apartment, using my very own DSL.

There is so much to talk about and you will all hear about for sure. But for right now; you'll have to settle for the mere confirmation of my existence, and hence my ever-present un-waning hatred of people.