Dear "People's Leftist, Nihilist, Communistic, Liberation of the Inherited Wealth Children of the World Movement",

In the name of all that is good in the world, I ask you to please stop. Stop protesting for the end to a war that doesn't even exist yet, against a country whose leader would love to see each and every member of our "yearning masses" dead. Stop demanding that OUR government take away more of OUR money and give it to HIV positive African baby-factories because Bono says they "need" it. Stop demanding and end to the economic system that transformed a worthless excuse for a imperial colony into the most powerful organization in the history of the world, and that allows you to wear your Abercrombie, Gap, Aero Postale, Banana Republic designer clothes. Stop feeling sorry for the families of mass murders after the authorities deprive them of the "quality-time" they deserve with their Husbands, Fathers, and Brothers. Stop basking in the spotlight. Stop hijacking what was once a legitimate political movement concerned with the well-being of ALL people, even the Americans.

We don't hate you; we don't think you are the devil, why do you insist that our chosen leaders are? We aren't asking you to deny your passion for change and rebellion. We aren't asking you to change your opinions. We are just asking you to become a productive member of the greatest country on the planet. We just ask that when you have some valid complaint, don’t immediately grab a sign condemning the President for clubbing baby seals, try writing a letter, starting a petition, or submiting a editorial, anything sensible will do. The rest of us are tired, and we don’t want to humor you anymore. "The Man" has be damned enough for one generation. Please come home.

Anxiously awaiting your reply,

The People of the United States of America