It's okay to be a bit psychotic and boosey in college, but not when you're 28 and hanging around outside my front door at 1:45 in the morning. I don't care how bad "dat bitch dun wronged you", it really is not appropriate to break your half-full beer bottle over the staircase railing and try to stab somebody.

You and you're friends are welcome to get blitzed and let off some steam, but don't congregate as a mob of angry twenty-somethings outside my door. And for love the communication, stop screaming indecipherably at one another in a tone in which only every 3rd word can be made out because you seem to have lifted it directly from your set of hand-me-down George Carlin vocabulary lessons. There is a family with a 5-year-old next door for God's sake.

I swear I was perfectly happy with my living situation for 9 full months. Now there is no way I'm here for much longer than when my current lease expires in June.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get the smell of alcohol from unfinished pine?